Every writer needs a lair. It can be something as simple as a table in a furnace room, or an attic filled with desks and shelves. For me, it’s a dark basement with no windows. Regardless, wherever you spend your time penning prose, here are some essentials to populate your space.

 

MOGWAI SLIPPERS: Basements get cold, so foot coverage is mandatory. Any slipper style will do, but movie-based ones work the best.

 

TOMMY WISEAU BOBBLE-HEAD: Any fans of The Room out there? If so, this needs no explanation. If you haven’t seen the movie, run out and purchase it today. And then buy a second copy as backup. Seriously.

 

FARGO SNOW GLOBE: When I managed the video store (in my younger days) I scored all kinds of movie bling. Toys are an important distraction to help your mind wander when you’re sick of looking at your computer screen.

 

 

FUTON: Stuck for an idea? Need to give your eyes a rest? Napping is a critical part of the writing process.

 

MINI FRIDGE: Dehydration is a writer’s worst enemy. Keep your fridge stocked at all times with soda and cheap beer.

 

“ALL-IN-ONE–PEN–PENCIL–TAPE–SCISSORS–POST-IT NOTES–STAPLER–THUMB TACKS” STATION: Amazon, $20. It will change your life.

 

BOOKS: Keep your favorite authors within close reach for inspiration . . . or to remind you how lousy your writing is. Which, in theory, should motivate you to work harder. In theory.

 

 

DESK: Last but not least, you should probably have a desk (with a computer) to accomplish actual writing. This is probably the least popular part of the writing lair. Funny how that works…